Hello Everyone! Tomorrow is Halloween! Happy Halloween for those who celebrate. :)
I did not celebrate Halloween until I moved to Canada when I was 14. I remember my first Halloween watching with fascination and intrigue people dressed in anything from their favorite TV or cartoon superheroes to gory horror characters. The intermingling of something fun, cute, scary, and gory all in the same place is something I had never seen before. Everyone gets to be someone else that evening, and just have fun.
Our inner voices sometimes look like the night of Halloween. We have the superhero voices that encourage us to grow and motivate and the gory horror inner villain voices that haunt us and remind us of our fears. Our inner conversation can often sound like Jekyll and Hyde, where Hyde seems to win most conversations. That's enough to prevent most of us from taking a chance in life and doing something new and different. Our inner critique is probably the harshest, biggest enemy we can have.
Let's change the perspective of our inner environment a bit. Let's look at our inner voices like Halloween night. Some voices sound scary, but they are only masks. Inside hides your inner child who heard someone say that to you when you were young. What if all your negative voices were just your past selves dressed up in costume? What if they don't really mean what they say but repeat what was said just for the sake of pretending?
Are you ready to have some fun? Let go of the seriousness that comes from our inner critique and let's see them with a healthy dose of humor!
And this leads to this week's journal topic:
List the phrases you hear often from your inner critique. Number each phrase so that you can easily refer back to them. Then write where each one of them came from. Take a moment to honor your feelings and how much they affect you today. Cross out the phrase using a bright colored marker and write "this is a lie". Finish your journal by writing encouraging loving words to yourself.
For example, "I am not good enough," "I don't deserve this," and "I won't be successful" are probably the top three phrases of my inner critique. There are more, but I will keep them simple for illustrative purposes. Feel free to list as many as you wish. I would number one for "I am not good enough", two for "I don't deserve this" and three for "I won't be successful." Below is what I would write about where they came from:
I always felt clumsy and not good enough because I was the youngest in the family. I always felt I needed to be as good as my older sister. Also, going to different schools in different countries growing up made it very difficult to adjust. I always felt I was falling behind.
I was taught that one must work hard to deserve something good in life. Since I always felt I was not good enough, I felt like I did not deserve it, though I was never quite sure when and how I could ever be good enough to deserve it.
I was often told that what I dreamt of doing when I was little was unrealistic and I would not be successful. I believe my parents wanted a safe, secure, and stable life for me, and this was their way of guiding me to that path. While I appreciate them trying their best to guide me, this repeated pattern of discouragement from my wildest dreams led me to see my passion and dream as "unrealistic" therefore I would not be successful.
Feel free to write your traumas, how painful it is to hear that phrase, and how they cripple you from being fearless and courageous. As you cross out each phrase and write "This is a lie", you may not believe it. If this is the case, take a moment to jot down how they are lies and give yourself some encouraging words. For example:
"Good Enough" compared to what? If I accept myself fully and let go of all judgments, I don't need to compare myself with anyone else. I am doing my best and that is enough. I release my need to compare with others and keep scores with my progress. I am here to love myself fully exactly the way I am. I am a work in progress, and the progress is made at just the right speed for me.
I don't need to prove myself to anyone to be worthy. I am an adult, and no one is grading or assessing me for how well I deserve. This is the time to cultivate self-love and to see myself as already worthy. I am worthy to receive whatever I am ready for.
I give myself permission to live my life the way I want. I can acknowledge how other people might see my life differently and appreciate their views, but that will not stop me from forging my path. Success is not measured by what other people can see. Giving something a new shot alone is a success in life.
Use this moment to let your favorite superheroes come out and conquer your inner villain (the inner critique). Know that they are here all the time and you don't need to wait until Halloween to let them out. Happy Halloween!
If you want to delve deeper into the practice of inner child healing, listen to the following podcasts from Whispers of the Heart:
"Mindset Shift" from Whispers of the Heart Guided Meditations
"Inner Child" from Whispers of the Heart Guided Meditations
"Why am I Here?" from Whispers of the Heart Guided Meditations
"Finding Your Inner Child: Heal Your Past, Embrace Your Power"- a 1-hour Dive Deeper Discussion
Happy journaling,
Noriko
Comments